This post is all about being intentional with your team to build rapport with your teammates. That way, when things get hard (and they always do), you’ve laid the groundwork for trust to weather the storm.
I know that you care about enabling joy on your team just like I do because you are here. Why is that evidence? It shows you care about how well you’re leading. That CARING means that you probably are already on a good path. Now let’s help you stay on that path and going as fast as you desire to the destination you need to achieve.
We know that building connection (like rapport) is important, BUT work comes first, OR it will come in time, OR it feels awkward, BUT I don’t want to. There’s all sorts of reasons we use to excuse ourselves from the hard work of building a team. I know them because I have to overcome them too!
One of the great ways to overcome the excuses is to systematize. Just like anything else (exercise, learning a new skill, staying organized), we have to develop a habit. To develop a habit, we need a plan…or a system. Call it whatever you want, we need something to get us going before it becomes natural. I call it systematizing. It sounds cool and it works, so I use it. 😉
To start, I suggest a few ideas to plug one or two into your week as a leader. Notice that I didn’t say “day.” That’s because I realize that it might be best to spend a day managing work, but, just like a week needs a weekend, going seven days without an explicit enabling joy moment is too long.
Put these CONNECT Builders into your calendar or reminders app with random, recurring dates. That way they’ll pop up when you least expect them as a to-do on various days. Having one of these pop up about every five days would work for me as a way to stay fresh, maintain discipline to do them, but not become a self-generated piece of spam.
Here’s a few ideas:
- Invite someone different to develop the agenda for a recurring project or group meeting. This reinforces that the communication is connecting all of us.
- Ask someone why they LIKE working on this team, on this project, on this task. This gives them the opportunity to refresh themselves of why they chose to be connected to this purpose.
- Ask two people, who are on the same team but don’t usually interact, about what they did to be healthy over the last month. This would prompt a way for these two to connect in a way that supplements their thin project connection on a personal level. (why the “healthy” question? You want to focus on building connect, so have a ‘build’ conversation. This creates room for a collaborative conversation that builds toward a desired goal; creates an opportunity for a way for them to even see each other as accountability partners with respect to their health.)
- Ask for feedback about your own leadership, most importantly, your approachability. Granted, if you’re not approachable, folks will not even want to do this, but at least now you know! Remember that folks can’t be more connected than you set the example for.
Hopefully this has spurred additional ideas for how to invite teammates to share a connection: personally (like #3), engaging them in the process (#1), being vulnerable to feedback (#4), or asking for a team member’s why (#2). Quick, write them down or tell Google/Siri to take a note for you!!
